There are many instances of sex for money that are not
If a man and a woman are dating and she wonít have sex with
him unless he buys her something of value, thatís not prostitution. Itís
not prostitution because it occurs in the context of a relationship. It is
not prostitution in the case of a sex clinic that provides a sexual
surrogate as part of a treatment program because sex for money is done in
the context of therapy. Thus sex for money is prostitution only in the
absence of all other redeeming factors.
When most people think of prostitution, they think of what they see on
television. Most people donít have first hand contact with sex workers or
escorts and do not understand what they do. On television they show drug
addicted street walkers who are beaten by black pimps who control them.
This kind of prostitution does occur and the State does have an interest
in being involved in that kind of scene. However, this scenario does not
even remotely reflect the services provided by escorts and escort
Most clients of escort services are regular clients and most of these
regular clients use the same escorts every time. Many of them have seen
these same escorts over a period of years. When sexual contact occurs with
a regular client, they are having sex in the context of a personal
relationship. And a relationship can be personal even if it is a paid for
relationship. Many people develop personal relationships with people who
charge them money for services. Doctors become friends with their
patients, but the doctor continues to charge you for her services. You
might become personal friends with your lawyer, but you are still paying
her to represent you. So the exchange of money for services does not make
the service and less personal than a service that is given for free.
People have to earn a living and someone who cares about you respects
One of the most common services provided by escort services and sex
workers are surrogate relationships. It would be nice if we lived in a
world where there was someone for everyone and everyone eventually met
ďthe right oneĒ and we got married and lived happily ever after. Wouldnít
that be nice? But thatís not the reality we live in.
The reality is that there isnít someone for everyone. There are many
people in society that are so damn lonely they canít stand it. Many of
they people have physical or emotional disabilities that either preclude
the possibility of a relationship or reduce the odds to virtually zero.
Some people have been so badly burned by relationships that they are not
capable of what we call a normal relationship. Some people, such as
business executives and politicians, have a lifestyle that is not
compatible with traditional family life. Some people have untraditional
tastes when it comes to relationships and are looking for experiences that
are unusual but legal. Some people have been burned by the divorce courts
so bad that they will never marry. We live in a society that is hostile
towards marriage and family and there are a lot of people making a lot of
money to destroy families. Thus, for many people, traditional family life
is not an option/
So what are these people to do? Are they to live their lives without a
relationship and without sexual contact? Iím sure that there are several
religions that believe that they should. But fortunately we live in a free
country where the individual is free from religious oppression and is not
subject to the religious beliefs of other peopleís faiths. The State does
not compel us to get married in order to have sexual contact. Itís
perfectly legal in America to have sex in the context of a relationship.
In fact itís perfectly legal to have sex with a total stranger if there
isnít any money involved.
In a surrogate relationship, as provided by sex workers and escorts, there
may or may not be sexual contact. And if there is sexual contact, itís in
the context of a relationship. That relationship is often a very personal
relationship that has lasted for years. Many people have had longer
relationships with they escorts than other important people in their
Most people would agree, although it isnít universally true, that a
traditional relationship is better that a paid for surrogate relationship.
However, most people would also agree that a surrogate relationship is
better than no relationship at all. If a person looses a leg they get an
artificial (or surrogate) leg. The artificial leg isnít as good as the
original leg but itís better than nothing. At least the person can
continue to walk.
For those who can not have a normal relationship, escort services and sex
workers provide a valuable service to society by providing surrogate
relationships to people who would otherwise have none at all. As I have
already previously stated, sex is an essential element in the individuals
well being. We as humans have a strong instinctive need to have
relationships and sexual contact and that desire doesnít go away because a
person is physically or emotionally incapacitated.
When surrogate relationships arenít available, the individuals are driven
by instinct and human nature to find whatever human contact they can. This
often results in violence, stalking, rape, or a lot of unsocial behaviour.
It becomes an issue similar to a starving man stealing a loaf of bread. If
we feed the hungry, we eliminate hunger related crimes. Surrogate
relationships fulfill needs that prevent or reduce criminal activity
resulting from needs not being met. When an individual is using surrogate
relationships, they need not resort to patronizing prostitution. Escorts
services therefore reduce prostitution by providing surrogate
relationships. I believe that even though incidences of prostitution occur
in the escort business, that the net result is an overall decrease in
Although escort services do business with people passing through town on a
one time basis, most of an escort serviceís business is regular customers
who have established relationships with a particular escort. If sexual
contact is involved, it is not the cold anonymous sex as depicted on
television. Regulars have established a relationship with their escorts
and if sexual contact occurs, itís personal contact in the context of the
surrogate relationship. And sexual contact in the context of a long term
surrogate relationship with a regular client is not what the legislature
intended to prevent when they wrote the laws on prostitution. If this were
prostitution, then a man who marries a woman for her money would be a
prostitute. And I donít think that any prosecutor is ready to go there!
Reposted from IntimaTerra